Under The Apricot Tree

Damn where do I even begin? You were the first friend I ever made I was only 3, you were only 5 But the day I met you I could see You really really didn’t like me What was it that made you so mad? Was it how I looked? Was it my voice? Were you just born full of hatred? What did I do? Because you were my first friend I didn’t know any better I thought that was what a friend was Someone who hurt you Someone who teased you Someone who made you question the world It’s crazy how easily a young mind can be tricked When your split personality rapidly decided Today we are friends Today I hate you Today I care how you feel Today I want to Hurt you Today you are my sister Today you are my enemy I never knew which side I would get Can we play barbies? Please stop hitting me Can we go outside? No! Don’t push me in the street Can we watch a movie? That is NOT a centipede I trusted you I cared for you I loved you I believed in

There are different types of abandonment. You can be emotionally abandoned or physically abandoned somewhere. Being emotionally abandoned is something that I have gotten used over the course of my short 17 years, but being physically abandoned was something I never thought would happen. When I was little, I was a “daddy’s girl”. Hell, DaDa was my first word. Every morning I would wake up early, knowing my father was watching Tv in the living room. I’d go out and lay on his chest, cuddling him until I fell back asleep. I felt safe. I felt loved. People don’t usually just disappear all of the sudden. They gradually distance themselves until you get the hint that they no longer want to be near you. I’m not really sure if that was the case with my father. It felt like he just suddenly didn’t want me anymore. He wasn’t even subtle. He stopped spending time with me. He stopped telling me he loved me. He stopped asking how my day was, and when I tried to talk to him it was simply “go a

  Sweet Apricot Tree What happened to thee? You are no longer here In the backyard I thought was so dear. Your fruit was so sweet Though I was a bit of a cheat Because while I admired it, This fruit I never bit. I spend years of my childhood Climbing your branches as every child should Within these boughs I'd write a story Or simply use them as my personal observatory. It was here that I explored My creative mind that was never bored I played Pocahontas And no one ever bothered us. Sweet Apricot Tree What happened to thee? You rotted from the inside You fell to the ground, leaving me aside.