The Rant Book

CHEATERS
Let’s talk about relationships! But not happy ones. Oh no, why would we talk about happy ones? That’s so BORING! Nah let’s talk about cheaters. Why do people cheat? I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE! Do you? If so please inform me. I would LOVE to understand. If you’re not happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend either work it out or leave them. If you find someone new please break up with them FIRST! Do not let him/her discover you in bed with someone else one day, do not let them discover you kissing someone who was SUPPOSED to be their friend!! God fucking damnit I hate cheaters. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for 3 days or 3 fucking years. You made a COMMITMENT!! Your girlfriend is not some impulse-buy hamster that you can give a new home and they’ll forget you ever existed. You will break their heart. A piece of them will die inside. Who knows if they will ever trust someone again. Just stop being a shitty person.



Art 1 Freshman
Dear god who let these loud, obnoxious, hyper, dreadful, CHILDREN enter my domain? I have earned my place at the top of the high school art program hierarchy. I have worked my ass off from the moment I could pick up a pencil and scrawl out my deepest thoughts on a scrap of an old, unwanted, discarded college English handout. I want to sit in my awfully uncomfortable blue plastic chair in front of my giant-ass draft table and create intensely detailed works of art so that I may hoard them like a dragon hoards gold and then stare at them until I grow to hate them. But NO! I am forced to listen to them run around like giant impaled hamsters. They are so ANNOYING and they never listen and never shut up. They are so stupid that they can’t even read the giant sign that says not to go past the blue line!

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