Under The Apricot Tree

Some days you just have to put your headphones in and BLAST the Sex Pistols.

The little girl with the long blonde hair I couldn’t help but stare She looked so h a ppy and kind To not adore her, you’d have to be blind. We were so young when we b ecame friends Is there no way to make amends? Over you, I continue to agonize Will you ever realize? When I see what you have become Towards you, my heart must not come You are no longer the girl I knew When you did ch a nge, I have no clue. You have said you are better off At this comment I can only scoff How can eleven years mean n othing When to me it meant everything. I am d oing my best to let go My pain must never show I cannot give you the satisfaction Of anything more than a stoic reaction. Each and every m o ment In the box they must seem important Where they shall sit and collect dust A ghostly memory of misplaced trust. To open this box would bring so much pai n Because the whole thing was in vain My life will never be the same And YOU are the

Connection to others is everything It is what makes us a human being Without it we are shells An infinite ringing of ghostly bells When you find yourself alone You grow to be prone To the deepest of loneliness The bitter sadness the only caress The world becomes overgrown Trees creep up, you are on your own Vines inch down to you You no longer see the sky as blue Grey fog fills the air You think there isn’t a breath to spare So you being to hold it Your stomach a bottomless pit Memories return from the past Relationships never meant to last You accept that you are lost But at what cost? Who are you without love When life decides to push and shove You have become no one For your life is coming undone You need to find your voice And make this important choice Scream into the darkness Until you feel breathless Do not stay silent Or the outcome may be violent You need to find your way out Of this forest, no matter your d

My body temperature rises My heart begins to beat faster My hands sweat My tears begin to fill my eyes My body begins to shake My heart starts to hurt My hands won’t sit still My tears fill to the brim My body’s muscles begin to tighten My heart is now racing My hands clench so tight My tears are now falling I am having a panic attack I am having a PANIC ATTACK I can’t breathe Please help me

CHEATERS Let’s talk about relationships! But not happy ones. Oh no, why would we talk about happy ones? That’s so BORING! Nah let’s talk about cheaters. Why do people cheat? I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE! Do you? If so please inform me. I would LOVE to understand. If you’re not happy with your boyfriend or girlfriend either work it out or leave them. If you find someone new please break up with them FIRST! Do not let him/her discover you in bed with someone else one day, do not let them discover you kissing someone who was SUPPOSED to be their friend!! God fucking damnit I hate cheaters. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together for 3 days or 3 fucking years. You made a COMMITMENT!! Your girlfriend is not some impulse-buy hamster that you can give a new home and they’ll forget you ever existed. You will break their heart. A piece of them will die inside. Who knows if they will ever trust someone again. Just stop being a shitty person. Art 1 Freshman Dear god who let these loud,

Your life is so colorful It contrasts a heart so dreadful You pick and choose For your benefit, others lose Red is the color of my rage Which cannot translate to this page It burns with everlasting strength For the rest of my life, no matter the length Orange is the color of the sun Which casts a spotlight on you to shun The mistake you made In the kiss you stole to parade Yellow is the color of happiness Which in my heart, replaced with emptiness That consumes me so that I may not give My right to forgive Green is the color of your envy Growing as though it were poison ivy Spreading discomfort to all who touch you And so I hope this is a day you will forever rue Blue is the color of my eyes That see through your disgusting lies Your deception cannot hide Soon no one will be on your side Purple is the color of deep welts I wish to inflict with an array of belts You stole my love Which you yourself are barren of

You were my love, and she my friend But now both have come to an end You have broken my fragile heart The last of my trust, torn apart. I lay here, my heart hollow Tears fall with great sorrow As I think of your soft lips And hands on her hips. What was there to gain Besides my unimaginable pain? You were the only one whom I could trust But can I leave you behind if I must? For nearly three years you were my life And I find myself struggling with this strife To stay or to go I do not know.

Damn where do I even begin? You were the first friend I ever made I was only 3, you were only 5 But the day I met you I could see You really really didn’t like me What was it that made you so mad? Was it how I looked? Was it my voice? Were you just born full of hatred? What did I do? Because you were my first friend I didn’t know any better I thought that was what a friend was Someone who hurt you Someone who teased you Someone who made you question the world It’s crazy how easily a young mind can be tricked When your split personality rapidly decided Today we are friends Today I hate you Today I care how you feel Today I want to Hurt you Today you are my sister Today you are my enemy I never knew which side I would get Can we play barbies? Please stop hitting me Can we go outside? No! Don’t push me in the street Can we watch a movie? That is NOT a centipede I trusted you I cared for you I loved you I believed in

There are different types of abandonment. You can be emotionally abandoned or physically abandoned somewhere. Being emotionally abandoned is something that I have gotten used over the course of my short 17 years, but being physically abandoned was something I never thought would happen. When I was little, I was a “daddy’s girl”. Hell, DaDa was my first word. Every morning I would wake up early, knowing my father was watching Tv in the living room. I’d go out and lay on his chest, cuddling him until I fell back asleep. I felt safe. I felt loved. People don’t usually just disappear all of the sudden. They gradually distance themselves until you get the hint that they no longer want to be near you. I’m not really sure if that was the case with my father. It felt like he just suddenly didn’t want me anymore. He wasn’t even subtle. He stopped spending time with me. He stopped telling me he loved me. He stopped asking how my day was, and when I tried to talk to him it was simply “go a