Under The Apricot Tree

This post is going to be a little awkward because it involves some very personal details about my current physical and health. I want to begin incorporating stories from my real life in my blog, not just poetry reflecting it. I used to have very regular periods. I always started within one to two days of my app's prediction date. Day 2 of bleeding was always my most painful day, but it was manageable with ibuprofen. Then two years ago when I was sitting in my Sophomore math class, I felt this really dull ache in my lower abdomen. I knew I was supposed to be starting my period so I was already prepared and wearing a pad. As the class continued, I started to feel nauseous. When the class ended and I was walking to English the pain in my abdomen got much worse. I also began to feel really dizzy. I walked as quickly as I could to my next class, which was English. When I got to the class, things went bad very quickly. The color drained from my skin, I looked paler than I had ever be

I’m not really sure where I am now But I know my life’s play has taken its final bow I’d like to think I danced through life But it was not without strife I’m not really sure how I got here But I remember my mother’s eye dropped a tear As she filled the tub with my bath water “I love you my sweet daughter” I cried that there weren’t bubbles in the tub She shushed me and began to scrub She tucked my curls behind my ear And told me soon our pain will disappear I looked at the purple marks on her arm She told me there was no need for alarm One last kiss before she laid me down It was in that moment she let me drown

Emma was born to a pretty good family. She never had to worry about a roof over her head or when her next meal was. She was the definition of privileged. She was beautiful and smart. Nobody would have suspected that she would be the next “Secret Life of An American Teenager,” but she had become just that. She met Brenden when she was a High School Junior at the back to school bash dance. He wasn’t the most attractive kid at school, but he was extremely smart and had a really good heart. Emma wasn’t the most promiscuous girl in school, but she had some experience in the anatomy department. It was on the dance floor that they first made eye contact. She was dancing with three of her closest friends when she turned her head to look for somewhere to sit. She saw a lanky figure over by the punch bowl with his head down. He lifted his head and in that moment they got their first glimpse of eachother. He walked over and asked her if she wanted to dance with him. She didn’t know his name,

One moment you are just a child To you, everything is a joke All of your worries are simply mild Like a toy you accidentally broke. The next moment you are being rushed In high school where your Voice is no longer hushed And your true self, you begin to explore. Then suddenly you are going out Into the real world where, You question your next route And stand only able to stare. But then you snap out of this For the future may not be clear, But you are alive and won’t miss The chance to choose your path from here

___________ had a little lamb Her fleece was a deep chestnut And every word _________ spoke The lamb would repeat to wrench my gut She followed her to a party Where she met a boy Whose soul was dark and murky He played with her heart like a toy And so I sat all alone But they stood just near enough So what I heard left my mind blown Holding back tears was tough And then ran back to her and stood Together hand in hand As if she said, “you have always understood That alone I am quite bland”. “What makes the lamb love ______ so?” I can’t help but cry. “Oh _______ loves the lamb, you know,” Others reply, “And, you, each gentle animal Is so clearly blind, To how you truly care, Even though you are so kind”

What can I say to make this okay What can I do to make this a better day I can’t help but think about all the times That you failed me with parental crimes You made me feel so alone And you don’t want to atone For every mistake you made That made me look to the blade My dreams were a joke to you Your insults come out of the blue Fat, ugly, stupid, worthless My self-esteem is a mess Do you know how it can feel To never be told that your love is real? And to never know if you are mad At me when I haven’t even done something bad I now live my life in fear Always more anxious than I appear

Of course it is happening again But I won’t wonder what it could have been I’m done feeling heart broken Over people who knew what could happen. Once again he has taken another friend This isn’t something that I can just mend Because her morality has taken a sharp bend Our friendship has definitely reached its end. I have zero tolerance for this humiliation Their new relationship is an abomination I don’t deserve to be in this situation And I shouldn’t have to walk around in caution. They don’t need to rub it in my face It’s not like they won some dumb three legged race Because we are not children anymore in this case Go ahead I’ll be the one you replace They make quite a duo, having the same name But isn’t it terrible shame That in the end I will be the one that everyone wants to blame When they treat life like some ridiculous game

The Smell of His Home The smell of the house was old Not like the smell of mold But of dust, newspaper, and Snapple Tea Warm Chili and Soup, homemade In my mind, the smell will never fade Lizard Wart You had this big knobby mole You said you got it meeting your goal The lizard was so quick And when you caught it, it did not lick The bite left behind a big bump You called it a wart but it was just a lump His Room I cannot go in that room Without feeling the deepest gloom So many memories burn in my head Of my sweet uncle who is now dead No one understands why I cannot go in that room But my heart feels an oncoming doom Powerless I felt so powerless I could no longer dream of happiness His life was coming to an end Was there nothing I could mend? I watched his body waste away That truly was the worst day Lonely When I feel lonely with no one to hear my grumble I find myself talking to my deceased uncle He left

My AP Literature class had to take about 50 lines from Hamlet and translate it into a modern style text. My group decided to make it vulgar with a mix of 1980's slang, current popular slang, and references to the television shows "Jimmy Neutron" and "Spongebob Squarepants". We then performed it infront of the entire class. Let's just say the reactions were great. This is Act III, Scene i lines 43-90 of Shakespeare's Hamlet  Polonius: Ophelia woman, m’ere. [to the king] Homeboy, we’ll hide [To OPHELIA] read this bible because it will look like you are pious and sweet bow-head but psych!! We are totally spying on those yuppies. Of course it's not like we are doing anything too wild. Lots of people hide their true intentions behind religion. Don’t look like you are shitting bricks. King: (aside) Truuu! Well damn, that bums me out. You know them bimbo hoes be covering up their grody faces with makeup and shit, that’s exactly what I am d